Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
