I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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