he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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