They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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