my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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