So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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