Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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