yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
