This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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