She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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