i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
