Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize