You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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