oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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