Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Randomize
