I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
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True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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