Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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