i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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