I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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