Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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