My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize