I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
