did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
