I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
