Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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