none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
