..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize