I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
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One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
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My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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