Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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