but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
