i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
