Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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