Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
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