She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
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You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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