i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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