Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
