i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
