I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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