I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
