Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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