After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
