The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
