i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
