why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The air was thick with penises
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just want to make out with him forever
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
