Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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