what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
