so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i dont even know how to be here
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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