I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
