i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
