I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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