She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
