Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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