Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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