You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We talked him into tasing himself.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize