i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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