are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
