i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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